Revelations
by Karin1
Summary: - Grissom & Sara - What are their true feelings for one another? Bonus chapter added: Catherine, Nick & Warrick have a heart-to-heart talk about our favorite CSI couple, Grissom and Sara.
1. Sara

**Disclaimer**: 'CSI' and its characters are the property of CBS and Alliance/Alantis Networks, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. I'm writing this story for entertainment purpose only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's note:** When I wrote 'Understanding' I thought that it was going to be my only POV of Sara. But then I read your reviews, and suddenly I got the idea for a sequel. This time I solely concentrated on the feelings of Grissom and Sara for one another. This will probably (but I never say never) be my last Sara POV. For all the Sara/Grissom shippers, enjoy!

English is not my native language. If you find an annoying writing error in this story, please email me (instead of mentioning it in a review) and I will correct it immediately.

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**Revelations - Sara**

By Karin

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It's strange what love can do to a person. When you least expect it, it hits you in the face. And when you try so hard to push it away, it only comes back full force.

I've experienced that first hand, although I wish I hadn't. I never meant to fall in love with Grissom. I did not even want it. Grissom is not the man to fall in love with. And I tried my best to get rid of those confusing feelings, to suppress them, but it was in vain.

I think I was already in love with him even before I joined his CSI team. We have known each other for a long time now, and when he called me in from San Francisco, I was thrilled to be able to work with him again. I felt honored that he trusted me enough to deal with Warrick's case.

The moment I saw him on the street everything came back. Every memory, every feeling I had for him. I saw him with the same eyes as when I was a student. I worshiped everything he did. He was my shining example, and I wanted so much for him to be proud of me. I lived for his approval and his attention. To be quite honest, I still do. Pathetic, I know.

Soon, actually from the beginning, my feelings for him became more intense. And at one point I couldn't deny them any longer. Everything changed. All of a sudden every word, every touch and every look got a different meaning. When Grissom touches me briefly, places his hand on my back or on my shoulders, I feel shivers going down my spine. And when he looks at me with those adorable puppy eyes, I'm overwhelmed with this longing. I want to kiss him, wrap my arms around him and touch his face.

_Dust. It was only dust. My hand against his cheek, but it was only dust. _

I love him. It's as simple as that, and yet also that difficult. How could I have been so stupid? Falling in love with Grissom…As if I don't have enough problems as it is. I seriously doubt whether there will ever be a 'us', whether we will ever get a chance together. In some ways we are so much the same. We are both better with corpses than alive people – corpses don't talk back – and we both have a passion for our work. Grissom is probably a little more obsessive than I am. Never taking a day off, always talking about his work, not having any hobbies…

Then again, that does sound a lot like me. I live for my work. It's all I can think of. I've always wanted to become a CSI. From the very first moment I came in contact with forensics, I knew it was my destiny. And I followed it. I followed my fate and it brought me here. To him. Ironic, isn't it? Why does fate have to be so cruel?

Grissom and I are different in one big thing. I have feelings, and I can't hide them. If a case upsets me, I can't pull the switch and put on the mask Grissom so easily uses. And I don't really want to. It's who I am. It makes me human. Grissom doesn't agree, and in that way we clash. He is the opposite of me. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he has feelings at all. Because if he does, he sure as hell knows how to hide them. He can be so insensitive and ignorant.

I don't know if I can accept that he may never open up to me. It's already so damn frustrating. Every time I try to reach him, he drives me away. He doesn't let me into his life, he doesn't show me how he truly feels. Maybe I'm too demanding, but is a man who understands my passion for my work, who isn't afraid of wrapping an arm around me and who really hears me, too much to ask?

And when I wake up at night, bathing in sweat because of another nightmare, I need someone to reassure me that everything is going to be all right. I want to reach out my hand and feel a warm body lying next to me. I would feel safer knowing that someone was with me in the room. Someone who would fight my demons with me, stand by me and get me through the despair and fear I often feel. My past will always be there to haunt me. But maybe with someone by my side, I can let go and focus on the future.

I can't see Grissom in that role though. Sometimes I fantasize about what it must be like to be loved by him. To lie in his arms, my head on his chest. I can almost hear his heartbeat and feel the warmth of his skin against my cheek. I feel safe in his strong arms. As if the bad, violent world outside the room doesn't exist. We just lie there, pretending and hoping that the moment will last forever. That we will never have to go back to reality.

I do realize, however, that this will never happen. It's just my little fantasy, my dream. I don't even think Grissom is interested in me that way. His whole life revolves around his work. There is no room for a woman. He doesn't even know how to behave himself around a woman. His idea of a gift would probably be the new issue of Forensic Science instead of flowers. And on his first date he would rather go to the lecture 'the first bug to arrive on a corpse' than to the theatre or a movie. He's so predictable in many things, and yet so surprising in others. I don't really know him. Despite our past, despite the time we've worked together, I still don't know him.

He is my mentor, my teacher, and my supervisor. He sees me as his protégée. When will he ever see me as a woman? Not a child that needs guidance or a student that needs to be taught. He doesn't even take the effort to get to know me better. He patronizes me, he lectures me…

Will he ever love me?

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**To Be Continued…**

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Grissom's POV will be on soon! In the meantime you could write a review. Hint, hint! : ) _- Karin -_


	2. Grissom

**Author's note:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! It means a lot to me to know that you like my story.

First of all I need to tell you – something I forgot in my previous fanfics – that we've just started the second season here in The Netherlands. So I'm unfamiliar with some important 'Grissom & Sara' episodes. If I've got something wrong, please remember that.

Again, English is not my native language. I wish it were, especially with this fanfic.

And now for Grissom's POV… I hope you'll like it. This one was more difficult to write than Sara's. Probably because I'm a woman (so I can relate to Sara) and because Grissom is a very complex character. He's not so easily to fathom. Anyway, I hope I came close. Enjoy!

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**Revelations - Grissom**

By Karin

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Sara. She's looking at me. Although I'm sitting with my back turned toward her, I can feel her piercing look. So I turn around and meet her gaze. She doesn't look away. She doesn't even pretend that she's embarrassed about being caught staring at me. Her dark eyes are intense as if she's burning a way into my soul. Questions are clearly written in them. She wants to know me. She wants to know every part of me. My past, my present, my future… But I can't let her, and so I turn my head away and focus all my attention on my work again, while trying to ignore her soft sigh of frustration and disappointment.

_"So, er, are you gonna tell us how you learned to sign?"_

_"No."_

I noticed the look on her face when I said 'no'. She was offended. The way her face set clearly proved that. My heart wrenched for hurting her, but I wasn't ready to let her in. I'm still not ready, and I doubt whether I'll ever be ready. I'm afraid of giving myself away, afraid that she wouldn't understand.

I don't want to risk losing the perfect simple, yet isolated life I have now. I go to work, I solve scientific puzzles, I extend my knowledge and I go home again to sleep. The next day the same routine. I like my life as it is: clear, predictable and orderly. It doesn't need to become more complex.

But that's not enough for Sara. I know that she cares for me. Maybe too much for her own good. I'm afraid of hurting her, afraid that I can't give her what she needs. That's why I hope with all my heart that it's just admiration or friendship she feels instead of… love. I really hope so, for her sake.

_"You wanna sleep with me?"_

_"Did you just say what I think you said?"_

Her question caught me off guard. I removed my glasses and gave her a piercing look. That moment I felt something. When Sara asked me if I wanted to sleep with her, an image of us flashed before my eyes. I couldn't stop it. I saw the two of us lying in bed, huddled together. Both enjoying the warm and comforting embrace of the other.

It was only a matter of seconds, but it left me feeling awkward. I knew she didn't mean anything by it. She just used it as an example to make her point, to show me I was wrong. Then why did it make me feel that way?

I can't deny that I have feelings for Sara. She is one of the most remarkable women I have ever met. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, images of her seem to take up permanent residence in my mind. Her broad smile whenever she discovers something that will break or even solve the case. The sparkle in her beautiful eyes. Her laughter when she fools around with Nick and Warrick. The soft singing while she's so concentrated on the collected evidence that she doesn't even notice it. And her compassion, sometimes permitted, other times less appropriate.

_"I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything."_

Her comment touched a tender spot. Unintentionally she hurt me. I did not show her that, but it was like reopening an old wound. I told her not to be so emotional, but sometimes I wish I could be more like her. I wish I could show my emotions that easily. I have never learned how, always restrained myself. I am not good with people. Sometimes not even with the people I work with. I care about my team, of course I do. I feel very protective about them. If someone runs into trouble – like Warrick – I would do anything to help him or her. And if someone gets hurt, I feel the pain as well. But that's it. I don't ask, I don't share. And I was okay with that.

Until Sara joined the team. She changed everything with her arrival. Maybe it's because of her age, her compassion, her enthusiasm, I don't know. All I know is that she wants more from me. She wants me to consider everyone's feelings more, to listen more, to show more of myself. According to her, being the boss doesn't excuse me from being ignorant. She's right. I do sometimes come across as a cold, unsociable and oblivious person, but that's only the exterior. The interior is entirely different. Only it's a part of me that people rarely get to see. I don't let them.

I know there have been times that Sara just wanted to strangle me – I wonder who will get my case if she did – I could 'read' the longing in her eyes. And for the first time I feel troubled. She makes me put my behavior under the microscope for once instead of the samples I collect. She makes me examine my actions and their consequences on the people around me. No one has ever made me do that before. Maybe it's something between the two of us. I sense that we have a special connection. We are a good team; we complement each other well. Sara is extremely intelligent, and I take great satisfaction from working with her. She's still open to ideas and new methods, and she's such a fast learner. She knows what I mean even before I say it, and she is often ahead of me when I want her to do something for me.

And what does Sara want herself? She wants me to be a man I have never been, or never got the chance to be. Maybe I can learn. I've already missed a few chances in life, and I've experienced that sometimes you get stuck in your own desperate attempts to shield yourself.

Terri was the perfect example. She was the first woman to whom I felt attracted in a very long time. It was probably because she understood my passion for my work. She was as passionate about her own job as I was. I could talk with her, really talk, and I felt at ease with her. But I blew it. I couldn't make it work, and was held back by my own personality.

I pushed her away, like I push Sara away. I do not dare to define the feelings I have for her. I hide from them by telling myself that it can never happen. I'm her supervisor; I'm older than she is. A relationship between us would never work. I'm afraid of ruining our working relationship and our friendship. I try to tell myself that, but I know it is utter nonsense. I'm making up reasons so I won't have to deal with the truth. Because if I really wanted to, then there would be way.

But what are my true feelings for her? Friendship, compassion, the need to protect her? Is it only that, or is it something more? Something I don't want to see, don't want to give in to.

Do I love her?

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I hope you liked my Grissom POV and – in case you didn't read it before – my Sara POV as well. Please let me know what you think of it. _- Karin -_


	3. Catherine, Nick & Warrick

**Author's note**: When I was writing the first two chapters of 'Revelations' I started to wonder what the others think of Sara and Grissom. So I decided to write this fanfic and, after some consideration, post it as a third chapter. I hope you'll like it!

Again, English is not my native/first language. If you find an annoying writing error in this story, please email me (instead of mentioning it in a review) and I will correct it immediately. Thank you!

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**Revelations - the team  
**

By Karin

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"Do they think we're blind or what?"

Nick and Catherine startled at Warrick's remark. They were sitting in the lounge, taking a long, very long break. The last couple of days had been extremely hectic. First a multiple homicide, then a rape case. The press had pounced on it like hungry dogs on a bone and the mayor had put extra pressure on them to solve the rape case as quickly as possible. As usual there were political motives involved. The rape victim was the daughter of an important and wealthy citizen of Las Vegas.

Fortunately that was all over now. The murderer – the neighbor – had committed suicide before they could arrest him, and the rapist – a so-called friend of the family – had been put safely behind bars. So it was time for a little relaxation. No big case was waiting, at least for them. Sara and Grissom were called away for a suicide. They expected to be back soon, because it seemed to be a foregone conclusion. Then again, knowing Grissom…

And so it was just the three of them. The table was covered with cups of coffee, newspapers and magazines, mostly scientific/forensic ones.

Warrick and Nick both had a piece of cake in front of them. It was Mandy's birthday, and although there were times she couldn't stand them for their irritating arrogance, she had treated them to a very big piece. Catherine had declined. She had a hot date that weekend and she desperately wanted to fit into a smashing black dress she bought some time ago. So, in order to keep her slim figure, for her nothing more than an ordinary biscuit.

Before Warrick made his comment, the room had been veiled in silence. They were all enjoying their coffee and treat. That was why his confusing and strange question came as a surprise to Nick and Catherine.

"Who?" they asked simultaneously.

"Grissom and Sara of course. Or am I the only one to see it?"

No one looked surprised though. A knowing smile tugged at the corners of Catherine's mouth. "I was beginning to doubt myself, that maybe I was imagining things, but apparently I'm not the only one. I'm not crazy."

"Don't say that too soon."

Catherine shot Nick an indignant look. "Funny, Nicky. Very funny."

"Sorry." Nick grinned disarmingly. "But I think you're both right. There's something going on between Grissom and Sara. Something they don't want us to know about."

"Do they honestly think they can hide it?"

"They would certainly make lousy poker players. With their facial expression…" Warrick shook his head. "Man, they would be stripped for all the money they got."

Grinning about the very entertaining picture Warrick had painted of Grissom being stripped in a casino, Catherine said: "Exactly. As if we don't notice the looks they cast at each other."

"Or the way she blushes when Grissom gives her a compliment."

"And what about when Grissom hands out our assignments?" Nick joined in. "Have you noticed the way Sara almost jumps on a case with him." He raised his finger and started to wiggle on his chair. "I want to work with Grissom. Me, me, me!"

They all burst into laughter. Nick had just done the perfect imitation of Sara, from the movement of her body to the sound of her voice. They could imagine her saying the exact same words. It was so obvious how much she loved working with Grissom.

"How long do you think they've known each other?" Nick asked. "Catherine, did Grissom ever talk about Sara before she joined our team?"

"Not that I can remember. The first time I heard about her was when Grissom announced that he was bringing in a friend to help us."

"A friend, my ass." Warrick's remark was blunt but honest.

"Maybe, maybe not," Catherine said vaguely. She had been wondering about Grissom and Sara's past herself, especially the how and when. Whether she had been just his student or maybe even more. And if…

She startled out of her thoughts when Warrick said: "Cath, you're a woman."

"Thank you for noticing, Warrick."

Ignoring her sarcastic tone of voice he continued: "From the perspective of a woman, what do you think of Grissom?"

Catherine shrugged. "He's good-looking, intelligent, thoughtful…" She picked up the meaningful look Warrick and Nick exchanged. "Oh no, don't even go there guys. Grissom is not my type."

"And that is?" Nick teased.

Catherine raised her well-shaped eyebrows.

Nick lifted his hand as to ward off an attack. "Just being curious here!"

"Whatever you say Nick."

"C'mon, tell us Catherine," Warrick sided with his colleague. "Why is Grissom not your type?"

With a sigh – a little frustrated for being drawn out – she explained: "Alright then, my type. First, I love my work. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than putting the scum of the world behind bars, but it's not my world. Lindsey is and, in case I'll ever find one, my future 'love of my life' will be. I don't need someone like Grissom. He is a good man, but he can never be the man for me. He's too good, too soft, too serious and way too addicted to his job. He's my friend. He's a wonderful and intriguing man despite his flaws and inability's. And again, he's good-looking. I can't deny that."

"Sara is not so ugly herself either," Nick mentioned casually, as if he was saying that the eggs were on special offer. "They would look very good together."

"She's very attractive," Warrick fully endorsed, a twinkle in his dark brown eyes. "Not beautiful, but…"

Catherine gave a snort.

"What?"

She shook her head. "God, you men are all the same. You have created an image of the perfect woman. And if someone doesn't fulfil your non-realistic expectations, demands even, then she's not worth your attention."

"And what's wrong with that?" Nick rounded.

"Maybe because only 1 of the entire female population looks that way?"

"Then we'll just have to find that 1, won't we?"

Warrick raised his hand and Nick gave him a high five.

Catherine just rolled her eyes. "Men. You're terrible. I'm starting to think that maybe Sara is better off without one. Especially one like you. I feel sorry for your future girlfriends. They…."

"You know, I once thought I loved Sara," Nick suddenly confessed, cutting Catherine's story short. It was completely out of the blue and immediately he had everyone's full attention.

Warrick's eyes widened. "You and Sara?"

Catherine joined her hands under her chin and gave Nick a piercing look. "Thought? So you mean you're not in love with her?"

"At first I thought I was in love with her, but then I met Kristy."

He paused for a moment, still struggling with the feelings and images her name brought about in him. The others fell silent. They knew how hard it had been for Nick after Kristy's death. He'd really cared about her.

Nick let out a deep sigh, pulling himself together, then continued softly: "When I saw Kristy, I immediately felt something. It was unexpected, and definitely unwanted, but all the more real. Kristy made me clear that my feelings for Sara are not of the romantic kind. I just care about her. All I want is to see her happy. She deserves to be happy."

"Of course she does." Catherine pointed to the commotion in the hallway. "And not the kind of happiness she claims to have now. At least we have some sort of a life outside CSI. You have your friends. I have Lindsey. Sara only has her work, and I'm not an expert, but that can't be healthy."

"Exactly, she needs someone in her life, someone who loves her."

Catherine's face crinkled into a smile at the compassion that filled Nick's voice. "That won't be easy, Nicky. First of all because of her character. It's like Sara described herself: a science geek. It's her life, but I seriously doubt whether her job is the ideal topic of conversation in a restaurant or at the movies."

Warrick pensively rubbed his chin. "Sara needs to find someone who will accept her for who she is. An attractive, smart, sometimes stubborn and cranky woman. A cute science geek. And she needs someone who's cool with her job."

"That certainly limits the possibilities. I still haven't found the man who's comfortable with me searching for bodyparts or collecting bugs from decayed corpses."

Nick frowned, going back in thoughts. "Saying that… Do you remember that case Sara and I had a couple of weeks ago? The one with the bag?"

"Yeah, the notorious case. The one I thanked God for not giving it to us." Warrick smirked. "Why? What happened?"

"There was this guy. Sara liked him, and I believe that he was attracted to her as well. They were even flirting over the dead body."

"Sara?!" Warrick and Catherine exclaimed.

"Sara flirting over a dead body." Warrick clicked his tongue. "Man, I would have given anything to see that."

Nick wasn't amused. "I don't think you would have liked seeing the look on her face when he walked away." He shook his head. "Why did they have to meet that day? Why couldn't it have been over a simple shooting or a car crash? Why did it have to be over human soup?"

"So he turned her down because of that case?"

Nick's face clouded. "She was so disappointed, although she did hide it well."

"Poor Sara," Warrick said with sincere sympathy. "That loser, that idiot. You know, Grissom wouldn't have minded. He doesn't care if Sara's clothes are covered in blood or if she stinks like a pig."

"They'd probably think it's sexy, find it attractive in one another." Nick grinned. "God, they need a life."

"Do you think they know about each other's feelings?"

"I have no idea," Catherine answered in all honesty. "I don't even know if Grissom has certain feelings for Sara. And even if… They would never give into it, especially not Grissom."

"Maybe we should help them out a little," Nick suggested cautiously. "Try bringing them together."

"You mean: set them up?" Warrick smiled broadly, definitely liking the idea. "We could draw up a plan to…"

"No you couldn't," Catherine spoke severely. "Stay out of this. This is something between Grissom and Sara. You would probably do more harm than good. If they have feelings for each other then…"

She swallowed the last words when suddenly they heard footsteps behind them. Expecting it to be Sara and Grissom they all jumped up. However, it weren't their topics of conversation. Greg was standing in the doorway instead, a silly grin displayed on his face.

"Someone sure has a guilty conscience in here," Greg said while pouring himself a large cup of his own special coffee. "So, what were you talking about?"

"Greg, we need your advice," Nick blurted out. He ignored the warning look Catherine shot him.

Greg snitched a cookie from the tin standing on the table, stuffed it into his mouth and said with a mouth full: "About what?"

"What do you think of Grissom and Sara?"

The guy looked confused. "Sara and Grissom?"

"Yes, do you think they would make the perfect couple?" Warrick asked this time, his curiosity taking the upper hand. Greg didn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea.

Warrick was right. Lab boy shook his head widely; a deep frown proved his dissatisfaction. "Oh no. No, no, no, no. Grissom no. Greg yes. Sara mine."

With that, plus another cookie from the tin, Greg disappeared again.

Surprise and amusement was written all over their faces and for a few seconds they just sat there. Then their twinkling eyes met. Their laughter formed the end of a discussion that would probably go on forever, at least until Grissom and Sara would finally take the first step…

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I hope you liked this story. Please write a review to let me know what you think of it. Thank you!  
- Karin -


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